Online dating messaging Chat with straight guys

I’ve been documenting OKCupid atrocities for a while now, and a lot of themes crop up in the terrible messages that daters send me for, um, critiquing.

Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.

You’re better off ditching the crappy, manipulative dating tactics and sending a nice, normal message.

A one-sentence message probably isn’t saying enough, but you also don’t want to send a novel.

Responding to a few items in a person’s profile will take somewhere between three and eight sentences; if you find yourself writing a six-paragraph missive, work that delete key.

Even if you do have a creepy racial fetish, announcing it will do you zero favors (although if you do have a creepy racial fetish, maybe deal with that through pornography and therapy, and don’t bring real live human beings into it?

) Does her profile say she’s a lesbian and you’re a straight guy with a weakness for Justin Bieber haircuts?

We know you’re trying to be “random” or “funny” with your ridiculous message about getting married / having babies / getting divorced / giraffes / or whatever other inappropriate thing you are messaging to dozens of people at once. It also doesn’t trick anyone (other than the slowest people on the internet) into thinking you wrote that totally nonsensical message just for us.

Funny is good, but if you are not actually funny, don’t strain anything trying to be.

Learn a little something about the person you’re messaging, and reference that in your communiqué.

“Hey gurl, luv ur pics” is not going to get a response.

Straightforward and nice is infinitely better than trying to be funny and failing miserably. There are lots of reasons why someone might not message you back. Now have patience, or set your sights on one of the 10,000 other single people in your area.

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