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There has been no shortage of men under 39 sending me messages and little "likes" through the ether.And while they're not all necessarily piquing my interest, they're also not the horrible fuckboys whose janky messages and blurry cock shots you see screenshotted on Tumblr and Instagram.
It never occurred to me in a serious way before this to lie about my age, even when I hit 30 or 35.
In the context of dating, those ages felt a lot less damning than 40; they felt a lot more viable. As ambivalent as I am about having my own children, there's something haunting about that scene from where Marisa Tomei stomps her foot about her biological clock ticking.
I'd taken a break from dating after a quick but hot liaison with a punk I'd met at a Damned concert petered out, but I wanted to, you know, put the vibes out there into the universe.
As I waded through Ok Cupid's endless questions and block of text, I imagined the countless men of New York City setting their age filters to 35 or, gasp, 39, and I wondered if it was true that anyone who didn't accept me as I am isn't worth knowing.
"I'd call it a slow attrition of diminishing returns," Chelsea said about dating in NYC.
"I feel as if I make out with a guy and tell a guy I'd like to enjoy sexual congress, he should be stoked.
Then there are the men I've met online who are actually my age, chronologically and emotionally, who seem to click with my weirdness in all the right ways.
Some are people whose social circles overlapped with mine but whom I'd never have otherwise met; whose emails wake me up at 5 a.m.
How dare they reject me before I could reject them! Whether they were the ancient ads I helped beta test as an intern or the old standby OKCupid, I'd invest time and energy into meeting men I wouldn't otherwise come across in my day-to-day life (read: freelancing at home, usually pantless).
Eventually, I'd get fed up with the banality of it all, hide my profile or delete the app.
My friend Brooke, who is a similarly fresh-faced 40-year-old, divulged over Gchat, "I joined OKCupid [when I was 39] and actually had to quit because I was INUNDATED by men in their 20s — though I put an age range and that is well below it. And can teach their useless baby bodies what to do?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating